Wino Forever!

It’s clear political catchphrases will come and go, but “Wino, forever” is forever. If there’s been sprinklings of a Winona Ryder resurgence in the air, it’s probably because fashion culture–from street style to runway to red carpet– is moving out of hot babe territory and into cool weirdo land, where Wino rules supreme. (Thank you, Balenciaga, Christopher Kane, Miu Miu, and J.W. Anderson.)

While Wino’s personal style has always been cute/classic (think highwaisted acid wash jeans, simple monochrome tanks, and a leather jacket), the most covetable characteristic was always her perfect 1990s bob. To emulate Wino, every brunette just lopped off their Juliette Lewis locks in favor of something shorter, messier, and “lower maintenance.” On the short list of newly cropped broads we have God’s own muse Daria Werbowy and SG friends Mira Duma, Lily Kwong, Emily Weiss, and me.

Everyone has their own take on the 2012 bob (I aspire to the above photo of Inez van Lansweerde at 21 from The Gentlewoman meeting a teary-eyed Natalie Portman in Leon the Professional), but the one myth I’m set to debunk is that having short hair is actually easier or lower maintenance. With long locks, at least for me, it was really easy not to care what’s was happening from scalp to shoulders because there were infinite options to tame the beast: bun, pony, braid, pigtail, samurai knot. That’s easy. The tricky thing about short hair is that there is only one good length for each person and maintaining that means getting a haircut basically every 2 weeks. Unless you are of the bottomless pockets and schedule-shirking sort, that presents a problem.

But I propose a solution so easy, you might not actually believe it works. (It does.)

1. You need a friend with moderately good motor skills.
I trust a percussionist because if you can play “Porgy and Bess” on the xylophone you can use scissors.

2. Pick your magic length.
This is honestly the hardest part. Somehwere between mid-neck and earlobe is the perfect bob-length for you. I recommend starting longer and then progressively cutting it shorter until you get there. You’ll know when you do.

3. Instruct friend to cut straight across your hair, making it all as close to exactly the same length as possible.
I usually tie my hair on the top of my head and slowly let down each layer so that it’s easier for my pretend stylist. Kitchen scissors work perfect for this part.

4. Edward Scissorhands it.
Once you’ve got your hair cut all to the same level, you have to instruct your “stylist” to do their best Edward Scissorhand impression while being wary not to chop off your ear. Pulling out chunks of hair and cutting vertically works best for me, but you can go as crazy as just random snips if you please. If you’re bob is too straight you’re going to look like Lulu Brooks, which is a hard look to pull off.

Done! It’s easy and free so why not give it a try?

Steff